MS43.04: Francis Nicholson Papers
Ballad Address to Defend Governor Nicholson, 1704



A Ballad
to the
Reverend Members
of the
held at
Man's Ordinary
Williamsburgh in Virginia
to defend
Governor Nicholson
and form an
Commissary Blair.

Bless us! What dismall times are these!
What stars are in Conjunction!
When Priests turn Sycophants to please
And hair brain'd Passion to appease;
dare prostitute their function.

Sure all the Furies must Combine
To sway the Convocation
That 17 Clergy men should Joyne
Without one word of Proof to Sign
So false an Accusation.

Or rather some for(a) Interest
And hopes of next preferment;
By false pretences finely Drest
Slyly impos'd upon the rest
To Sign on their (b) Averment


First Wheatly (c) heads the Reverend Tribe
Amongst the Chiefest Actors
A Tooll no pencil can describe
Who Sells his Conscience for a Bribe
And Slights his Benefactors.

Sober and Meek under Disgrace
As better fate Deserving
Now he's Advanc'd, he soaks his face
And Spurns at those that wrought his peace
And kept the Rogue from Starving.

Portlock (d) the Cat queen of the Age
Deserves the 2d Station
A Doubty Clerk and Reverend Sage
Who turns his pulpit to a Stage
And banters Reformation.

^(a) Govr: Nicholson promised Severall of them their Commissary should be
turnd out, and they in his place.
^(b) Some were new Comers and would fain have come off by that pretence
but were not Suffered.
^(c) When he was affronted and abused by the Gov:r and not Suffered to
preach, and without a penny of mony to Support him Mr B: H: and
Mr Ro Beverly with some friends of theirs gave him 30£.
^(d) He preach'd a Sermon against Women upon the Serpents beguil-
ing Eve, Wherein he laid out his Wife to the best Advantage
for hanging his Cat call'd Alice whom he more dearly lov'd.
he is his own Brewer, Baker, Butcher and Cook.

Rude to his Wife, false to his friend
A Clown in Conversation
Who rather than he'd be confin'd
To either to be just or kind
Would Sign his own Damnation

Corah (a) comes next that Sturdy Swain. (a) Mr Ralph Bowker
A Bawling Pulpit Hector
A Preacher of Hugh Peter's vain
That sacred Writ can twist and strain
To flatter his protector.

A Sot abandon'd to his paunch
Prophane without Temptation
Who flames of Jealousy (b) to quench
Creeps in a corner with his Wench
And makes retaliation.

Then in Comes Ware with fudling School
Well warmd and fit for Action
A mungrell party Colour'd Tool
Equally mix'd of Knave and fool
By nature prone to Faction.

Faint hearted Smith like Esops Bat
Both birds and beasts reject him
With his blew vest and Cock'd up hat
He Sign'd and threatened God knows what
But now pleads Non est factum.

^(a) He retains the name from a Publick sermon wherein he
Espous'd the Gov:r part and Compar'd Corah to the Commissary
and the rest to some of the Assembly who would not Joyn
in the Gov:rs flattering Addresses.
^(b.) When he goes abroad a drinking he makes his wife sit
with him amongst the men, thô perhaps there are Severall
Women at the same house of her Acquaintance.

p4These few Accomplish'd Sparks we're told
     Were Chief at that Convention
     Where Innocence was basely Sold
     And Guilt and Infamy Grown bold
     laid Ground work for Contention

The Tavern was the place they chose
     To hold their Consultation
Where each one drank a lusty Dose
His Stupid Coxcomb to dispose
     To form the Accusation.

Good Store of Bristol beer and Stout
By Dozens was Expended
The Glass went merryly about
Some sung and others swore and fought
     And so the farce was Ended.

Blest State to which the Ord:rs Sunk!
     A Happy Reformation
Now without fear they may be drunk
And fight and Swear and keep a punk
     And laugh at Deprivation

Printed in ye year 1704